Things Are On Track to Get Even Worse

As the 2016 season got underway, the Cardinals were feeling disrespected. Yes, they’d suffered a portentous NLDS loss to the Cubs the previous October, and then stumbled through a disappointing offseason, but from the top of the organization on down, they were adamant that they wouldn’t be relinquishing their NL Central crown without a fight. […]

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What Are the Cardinals For?

Heavy rains caused devastating floods across parts of Missouri, Illinois, and Arkansas last week, including in and around St. Louis, where the Meramec River crested at record levels and inundated homes and businesses in communities like Pacific, Eureka, and Fenton. Many smaller rural towns, lacking levees, manpower, and other resources, were hit even harder. At least 13 people were […]

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Matt Holliday Got Screwed

There will come a time this year when Matt Holliday won’t look quite like the player he does now. He won’t have posted a 174 wRC+ in his last 39 plate appearances. He won’t be getting rave reviews from the famously fickle New York City media. He may pick up an injury or two. There will […]

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Mike Matheny, a Right-Wing Billionaire, and an Islamophobic Grill Salesman Have a Plan to Change the World

There is a crisis among America’s youth, a clear and present threat menacing our most precious hearts and minds, and the men of the BASE Foundation are determined to stop it, even if they’re not entirely clear on what it is. “I’m concerned, quite frankly, about the culture of youth sports in America,” said Rick Sems, a […]

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Picking Up the Pieces

Here’s a needlessly elaborate version of a hypothetical first proposed to me by sometimes Double Birds contributor Adam Felder: On Sunday evening, just before the Cardinals open the regular season against the Cubs at Busch Stadium, an Omnipotent Time-Traveling Baseball Genie appears before you in a blinding seraphic vision. He offers you a deal: he […]

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Hey, Remember the Tyler Dunnington Story?

More than a year ago, the LGBT-focused sports website Outsports broke a disturbing story: former Cardinals minor-leaguer Tyler Dunnington, who came out as gay after his retirement, revealed that he had experienced anti-gay bigotry throughout his time in baseball, including during his brief professional career with the GCL Cardinals in 2014. “Two teammates in particular,” reported Outsports’ Cyd Ziegler, “questioned their […]

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There’s Only One Acceptable Reason Not to Extend Yadier Molina

This offseason marked five years since Albert Pujols, quite possibly the greatest Cardinal ever, turned down an incomprehensibly lucrative offer to remain a Cardinal for life in favor of a slightly more incomprehensibly lucrative offer to go elsewhere. The occasion passed without much notice, but if you’ve listened closely enough, you may have heard some doubt start to seep in at […]

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